Thursday, December 30, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Triumph 8
Hadn't been for a run since Dec. 8, but today I broke the exercise drought and tried out my brand spanking new Saucony Triumph 8 running shoes. I really should have got myself a new pair of runners about six months ago, so it felt great to have padding under my feet again! This particular shoe has been great for me for the past few years, so I plan to just keep getting the updated version each time I wear out a pair. A quality pair of running shoes is not cheap but definitely necessary for distance running. I also use orthotics, which I'm praying will guard against runner's knee, shin splints, and heaven forbid, stress fractures. I've had a stress fracture in my femur, and it's really worth avoiding.
Anyway, today I ran hills for 40 minutes and other than a bit of a side cramp, I think I ran at my usual pace, so it seems I've not lost much in terms of cardio. No idea how my legs are going to feel tomorrow, but that's okay. I'll take tomorrow off and run again on Tuesday. A week today I'll be starting a four-month half marathon clinic with the Runner's Den in Port Moody. Can't wait!
Anyway, today I ran hills for 40 minutes and other than a bit of a side cramp, I think I ran at my usual pace, so it seems I've not lost much in terms of cardio. No idea how my legs are going to feel tomorrow, but that's okay. I'll take tomorrow off and run again on Tuesday. A week today I'll be starting a four-month half marathon clinic with the Runner's Den in Port Moody. Can't wait!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Running...for the train
Haven't been for a run in about nine days (unless you count running through downtown in a pinstripe suit to make the train home from work.) So I'm not feeling especially ready for the half marathon training clinic kick-off on January 2. The problem is this: I'm working a three month contract that involves me being in a window-less office way downtown for eight hours a day, Monday to Friday. It's almost the shortest day of the year, so getting up when it's still dark and getting home when it's dark again means I've really no (safe) time to go running. I honestly don't know what other women do. Treadmill at the gym? First of all, that just sucks, and I don't want to have to pay to run. That's crazy. Running is free. And outdoors.
Can't wait for Saturday, I tell ya that!
Can't wait for Saturday, I tell ya that!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Running clinic
Today I went to the Runner's Den in Port Moody to sign up for their half marathon training clinic, which starts Jan. 2. The race will be the BMO Vancouver Marathon, May 1, 2011.
The guy at the counter was tall and clearly a runner. Thin, super chilled but with a friendly smile powered by endorphins and (most likely) a vegan diet. There were two women ahead of me with matching white ball caps, long running jackets with reflective tape, black tights and flashy new runners. They looked like they were either total noobs or marathon elite. I'm looking forward to getting to know these people.
When they were finished signing up it was my turn, and then I asked about getting new running shoes. For the past few years I've been replacing my worn runners with exactly the same shoe, the Saucony Triumph. The newest one is the Triumph 7, which I'm hoping Santa will have placed neatly wrapped under the tree on Dec. 25. Nice sales guy said I will get 15 per cent off because I've registered for the clinic. When I lef the store the sun was shining. It's been a good day. Time for a run!
The guy at the counter was tall and clearly a runner. Thin, super chilled but with a friendly smile powered by endorphins and (most likely) a vegan diet. There were two women ahead of me with matching white ball caps, long running jackets with reflective tape, black tights and flashy new runners. They looked like they were either total noobs or marathon elite. I'm looking forward to getting to know these people.
When they were finished signing up it was my turn, and then I asked about getting new running shoes. For the past few years I've been replacing my worn runners with exactly the same shoe, the Saucony Triumph. The newest one is the Triumph 7, which I'm hoping Santa will have placed neatly wrapped under the tree on Dec. 25. Nice sales guy said I will get 15 per cent off because I've registered for the clinic. When I lef the store the sun was shining. It's been a good day. Time for a run!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Running to beat the blues
This year a study came out suggesting that, even better than antidepressant medication, exercise is the best way to stay mentally healthy. This is awesome. The thing about medication, of course, is there are always side effects, and they are always negative side effects. The opposite is true of exercise. Running can help keep one's mood elevated and, of course, side effects include better circulation, stronger muscles and denser bones, slower aging, maintaining a healthy weight, and the list goes on.
I found this article online last night when I was searching for more evidence of running as a natural way to prevent depression -- and it's just amazing. Daniele Seiss writes about her experiences with major depression and how long, long walks and then long runs helped her to beat the blues (and even the need to take antidepressant medication). She doesn't even fear another relapse because she's exercises to stay healthy and happy.
How cool is that? Yet another reason to make sure to stick to a running schedule.
I found this article online last night when I was searching for more evidence of running as a natural way to prevent depression -- and it's just amazing. Daniele Seiss writes about her experiences with major depression and how long, long walks and then long runs helped her to beat the blues (and even the need to take antidepressant medication). She doesn't even fear another relapse because she's exercises to stay healthy and happy.
How cool is that? Yet another reason to make sure to stick to a running schedule.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Puppy postponed
Well, it seems if you don't have a set work schedule, it can be difficult to get work if you apply with a puppy in tow. At least, that's what I'm concerned about. I went to an info session last week, two puppy training classes on Monday night, and an interview this morning, and have determined that as much as I do want to pursue raising a service dog, this is not the right time. As a freelancer, I've no idea where and for whom I'll be working in the next year, so I can't know that any editor I approach will be fine with me bringing a dog into his or her newsroom.
There is a chance, however, that if I can get myself on a schedule, I could get a puppy in a few months and just take jobs that I can either do from home or are in newsrooms where editors are happy to have me bring the puppy. It's do-able, but I'm going to wait till after Christmas and until this upcoming job I've got in Dec. and Jan. is over because I know that with this particular editor, at least, he's just not cool with me bringing the dog. Fair enough. Bit of a bummer, but I'll see where I'm at in another two months.
There is a chance, however, that if I can get myself on a schedule, I could get a puppy in a few months and just take jobs that I can either do from home or are in newsrooms where editors are happy to have me bring the puppy. It's do-able, but I'm going to wait till after Christmas and until this upcoming job I've got in Dec. and Jan. is over because I know that with this particular editor, at least, he's just not cool with me bringing the dog. Fair enough. Bit of a bummer, but I'll see where I'm at in another two months.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Fall Classic
Yesterday I ran the New Balance Fall Classic 10 km at UBC. It was cold. It was very cold. Some parts of the course were icy. I hadn't trained, so I didn't get a PR, though according to the organizers, I did. My elapsed time was 56:14 on the website, but I say that's bull since I timed myself and it took almost exactly 58 minutes to cross the finish. Not impressed with this race for several reasons, but mostly because the chip time clearly didn't work. That's what you pay for when you do an organized race -- official chip time. Well, that and the t-shirt, but they didn't have that in my size.
Definitely not planning to do this one again. The only good thing I can say about it is the money goes to the Heart & Stroke Foundation, so at least it's not a financial waste. And a run is a run is a run. So yeah, I got my excersize for the day.
Definitely not planning to do this one again. The only good thing I can say about it is the money goes to the Heart & Stroke Foundation, so at least it's not a financial waste. And a run is a run is a run. So yeah, I got my excersize for the day.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Puppy Love?
In less than a month, I could have an eight-week old golden labrador puppy wriggling in my arms, licking my face, peeing on me out of sheer excitement at being alive.
Tonight I went to an information session for the Pacific Assistance Dog Society (PADS) to find out how to become a puppy raiser. Turns out it's a lot of work and a lot of fun and they need people DESPERATELY to take a puppy home for a year right away. The litter is three or four weeks old, which means they've got to be matched with their handlers (puppy raisers) just before Christmas. Bad timing for most people, of course, especially me, actually, since my brother is getting married on New Year's Eve, but that's life.
I want one. I want one SO BADLY it hurts. They had two little 12-week old golden labs at the info session wearing their smart little yellow capes and they just made everyone smile. How could they not? They're the epitome of cute.
These dogs are super adorable, but they're also incredibly impressive, even at such a young age. They already know to come on command, lie down, and to stay quietly at their handlers' feet. They're also probably already worth about the same as my car.
A puppy handler (hopefully me, in a month) gets the dog at eight weeks and begins a 12 month journey of a 24-hour per day, seven day per week volunteer job that involves socializing the dog before it goes for formal training with professionals. There is nowhere these puppies cannot go: school, work, the mall, the movie theatre, restaurants, SkyTrain, ferries, hospitals, libraries, churches, concerts, Safeway, you name it. Handlers actually get to carry a card that officially states the Governor General gives them permission to take their puppies anywhere a disabled person would take their service dog. Which is everywhere. I love the idea of walking into Holt Renfrew with a big ol' lab!
But these dogs learn right from day one that when their yellow cape is on, they're working. No playing, no biting, no barking, no distractions. People should not pet these dogs and puppies. They shouldn't even ask if they can pet them. They're working. However, when the cape comes off, it's like Jekyll and Hyde and the dog becomes a regular goofball puppy again.
I love the idea of a dog being at my side all day, every day. Of course, I don't like the idea of having to give him to someone else after a year, but knowing it's not just anyone but someone who will make the best use of (and hopefully really love) the dog is well worth it. The challenge is huge, I suppose, but then again, anything worth doing is difficult.
When I was 13 I got a lab-cross puppy and she was inordinately destructive and took forever to be housebroken. But in the end, she turned out better than alright, and I wouldn't have passed up the chance to have a wonderful 12 years with Velvet. And despite the inevitable agony of having to say goodbye to another k-9 friend again, at least this time it won't be a permanent farewell, but a toast to the promising future of this well-socialized dog who will be starting a very important job with his or her ecstatic new owner.
So, fingers crossed, I'll be the proud new (temporary) owner of a little bundle of furry joy in a few weeks time.
Tonight I went to an information session for the Pacific Assistance Dog Society (PADS) to find out how to become a puppy raiser. Turns out it's a lot of work and a lot of fun and they need people DESPERATELY to take a puppy home for a year right away. The litter is three or four weeks old, which means they've got to be matched with their handlers (puppy raisers) just before Christmas. Bad timing for most people, of course, especially me, actually, since my brother is getting married on New Year's Eve, but that's life.
I want one. I want one SO BADLY it hurts. They had two little 12-week old golden labs at the info session wearing their smart little yellow capes and they just made everyone smile. How could they not? They're the epitome of cute.
These dogs are super adorable, but they're also incredibly impressive, even at such a young age. They already know to come on command, lie down, and to stay quietly at their handlers' feet. They're also probably already worth about the same as my car.
A puppy handler (hopefully me, in a month) gets the dog at eight weeks and begins a 12 month journey of a 24-hour per day, seven day per week volunteer job that involves socializing the dog before it goes for formal training with professionals. There is nowhere these puppies cannot go: school, work, the mall, the movie theatre, restaurants, SkyTrain, ferries, hospitals, libraries, churches, concerts, Safeway, you name it. Handlers actually get to carry a card that officially states the Governor General gives them permission to take their puppies anywhere a disabled person would take their service dog. Which is everywhere. I love the idea of walking into Holt Renfrew with a big ol' lab!
But these dogs learn right from day one that when their yellow cape is on, they're working. No playing, no biting, no barking, no distractions. People should not pet these dogs and puppies. They shouldn't even ask if they can pet them. They're working. However, when the cape comes off, it's like Jekyll and Hyde and the dog becomes a regular goofball puppy again.
I love the idea of a dog being at my side all day, every day. Of course, I don't like the idea of having to give him to someone else after a year, but knowing it's not just anyone but someone who will make the best use of (and hopefully really love) the dog is well worth it. The challenge is huge, I suppose, but then again, anything worth doing is difficult.
When I was 13 I got a lab-cross puppy and she was inordinately destructive and took forever to be housebroken. But in the end, she turned out better than alright, and I wouldn't have passed up the chance to have a wonderful 12 years with Velvet. And despite the inevitable agony of having to say goodbye to another k-9 friend again, at least this time it won't be a permanent farewell, but a toast to the promising future of this well-socialized dog who will be starting a very important job with his or her ecstatic new owner.
So, fingers crossed, I'll be the proud new (temporary) owner of a little bundle of furry joy in a few weeks time.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Snowball effect
It's raining and cold and I'm thinking I would love to just stay inside all day, but I know I should run. Not just because I need the exercise and the mental health boost, but because I've got less than two weeks to train for a 10 km race.
The thing is, I haven't run more than twice since I've been back from Alberta, and it's kind of a snowball effect when it comes to making or breaking a habit: If it's going well, then things keep getting better. Success builds on success. But every day that I put off running, it becomes that much more difficult to get myself out the door.
One thing I've discovered this year about running, however, is that not all is lost if I don't put on my runners for a few weeks (even months). If I get off track with training, it's still worth it to go for a jog around the block, even just to get some fresh air. And if I haven't been training, it's still worth entering races, because, so far, even races I haven't trained for have been good. And they give me a tangible goal to work towards.
Not just in a physical sense, but also in maintaining any kind of descipline, baby steps are never wasted. It's taken me ages to learn that lesson, because I'm stubborn and tend to want to chuck any progress I've made out the window as soon as it starts to go sideways. Hopefully I'm starting to see the error of my ways in always thinking of things in black or white, either-or, and am slowly coming to a more mature understanding of balance in all things.
So I haven't been running in more than a week, and I sure don't feel like it today, but I'm going to go anyway because I'll be happy I did when it's done. And then I can put another red dot on the calendar for today to mark my effort.
The thing is, I haven't run more than twice since I've been back from Alberta, and it's kind of a snowball effect when it comes to making or breaking a habit: If it's going well, then things keep getting better. Success builds on success. But every day that I put off running, it becomes that much more difficult to get myself out the door.
One thing I've discovered this year about running, however, is that not all is lost if I don't put on my runners for a few weeks (even months). If I get off track with training, it's still worth it to go for a jog around the block, even just to get some fresh air. And if I haven't been training, it's still worth entering races, because, so far, even races I haven't trained for have been good. And they give me a tangible goal to work towards.
Not just in a physical sense, but also in maintaining any kind of descipline, baby steps are never wasted. It's taken me ages to learn that lesson, because I'm stubborn and tend to want to chuck any progress I've made out the window as soon as it starts to go sideways. Hopefully I'm starting to see the error of my ways in always thinking of things in black or white, either-or, and am slowly coming to a more mature understanding of balance in all things.
So I haven't been running in more than a week, and I sure don't feel like it today, but I'm going to go anyway because I'll be happy I did when it's done. And then I can put another red dot on the calendar for today to mark my effort.
Friday, October 22, 2010
#90 - Casting off
There is now another woolen scarf in the world, and this one was made by my own hands. This was me for the past 10 months:
(Sometimes the smile was real, sometimes it was fake.)
I now know how to do plain and purl, cast on, cast off, and the rib stitch. My mom has a big basket of wool from the '80s and a stack of knitting needles tucked away in some cupboard somewhere which she's now given me to play with. I may try another scarf sometime just because I've gotten so used to having this project to pick up whenever I'm watching a movie or have nothing else going on. Sitting and knitting is always a good combination. Last night I finished the scarf during an epic marathon of the first season of Vampire Diaries here in Bashaw, Alberta. Why? Too long to explain.
The new scarf now belongs to Cornelia, who evidently enjoys wearing it with plaid. It's cold here in Alberta, so it seems to make sense.
What a great scarf model.
(Sometimes the smile was real, sometimes it was fake.)
I now know how to do plain and purl, cast on, cast off, and the rib stitch. My mom has a big basket of wool from the '80s and a stack of knitting needles tucked away in some cupboard somewhere which she's now given me to play with. I may try another scarf sometime just because I've gotten so used to having this project to pick up whenever I'm watching a movie or have nothing else going on. Sitting and knitting is always a good combination. Last night I finished the scarf during an epic marathon of the first season of Vampire Diaries here in Bashaw, Alberta. Why? Too long to explain.
The new scarf now belongs to Cornelia, who evidently enjoys wearing it with plaid. It's cold here in Alberta, so it seems to make sense.
I can't remember why I wanted to learn to knit, to be honest. I don't think I ever had any intentions of learning to make my own clothes or anything. At least I've crossed another item off my list. Ten down, 90 to go.
Posts related to knitting:
(Dec. 28, 2009)
(Jan. 31, 2010)
(March 6, 2010)
(June 1, 2010)
(Sept. 16, 2010)
(Sept. 29, 2010)
(Oct. 15, 2010)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
5 km PR - 26:49
On Saturday I did the Abbotsford Run For Justice 5 km and got another personal record.
Wasn't going to do any more 5 km races, but this one had three things going for it:
1. location - start line was a three minute drive from my place
2. start time - 10 a.m. allows for a bacon 'n egg breaky with coffee without having to get up at the crack of morning
3. justice - no idea about the specifics but who wouldn't want to support something like that?
I've discovered a formula for running a good race:
Do the first half slower than you think you should,
so you can do the second half faster than you thought you could.
This actually works. And it sounds good.
Wasn't going to do any more 5 km races, but this one had three things going for it:
1. location - start line was a three minute drive from my place
2. start time - 10 a.m. allows for a bacon 'n egg breaky with coffee without having to get up at the crack of morning
3. justice - no idea about the specifics but who wouldn't want to support something like that?
I've discovered a formula for running a good race:
Do the first half slower than you think you should,
so you can do the second half faster than you thought you could.
This actually works. And it sounds good.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Knitting breakthrough
I found this website threadbanger.com that has a show called Threadheads, which has videos on its blog about how to knit that are really basic.
I'm almost finished the "world's ugliest scarf" -- according to some. I don't think it's THE ugliest scarf. Maybe in the top 10, but it's a nice colour, so that's something. It started off well, a nice rib stitch, but then devolved into a too-wide part where I screwed something up. Then it got too thin (something about tension) and then too wide again. Anyway, I managed to figure out what I was doing wrong with the rib stitch (you need to start with the same type of stitch every time you start a new row, not alternate types) and now it's looking okay near the end. I should be done within a day or two.
As frustrating as it can be (and as itchy as wool is so who's going to wear this thing?), I enjoyed working on it last night for the first time. It was strangely mesmerizing. I may (MAY) even be tempted to try another one. But the next one will be with size 11 knitting needles, not size 7, which are way too finicky.
I'm almost finished the "world's ugliest scarf" -- according to some. I don't think it's THE ugliest scarf. Maybe in the top 10, but it's a nice colour, so that's something. It started off well, a nice rib stitch, but then devolved into a too-wide part where I screwed something up. Then it got too thin (something about tension) and then too wide again. Anyway, I managed to figure out what I was doing wrong with the rib stitch (you need to start with the same type of stitch every time you start a new row, not alternate types) and now it's looking okay near the end. I should be done within a day or two.
As frustrating as it can be (and as itchy as wool is so who's going to wear this thing?), I enjoyed working on it last night for the first time. It was strangely mesmerizing. I may (MAY) even be tempted to try another one. But the next one will be with size 11 knitting needles, not size 7, which are way too finicky.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Better than booze
I've come to the conlusion that running is like drinking. The experience starts off the same way: "Wow, this feels great. Why don't I do this more often?" Getting to the bottom of a bottle of Keith's makes me feel warm and fuzzy and makes all my troubles go away. Similarly, after the first 15 minutes of a nice jog through the forest on a crisp autumn day, I feel at ease and pretty pleased about my existence.
It's strange how both alcohol and exercise can bring about a kind of euphoria and a weird sense they both should be pursued on a more regular basis. But that's where the similarities end. Unlike a good run, pushing myself and then feeling full of life and possibilities afterwards as I stretch, the final result of downing more than two drinks (yes, I'm a lightweight) is more likely to make me want to wretch. Not fun. Doesn't make me feel better about myself. Sometimes even one glass of red wine is enough to make my pillow feel like a vice the next morning. Who doesn't want to erase the past 12 hours and do away with the pain? And who has ever regretted lacing up and going for a short lope around the neighbourhood? No one's ever woken up after jogging, stumbled over to the mirror to wince at his or her pasty, gaunt face and said, "Oh, man, that was stupid." It doesn't happen. It's not easy to push your workout too far. You can't black out and slide down the slippery slope of losing count while binging on the perfect poison of lactic acid. No one's ever heard a runner on the phone at work, holding her head in her hand, saying, "Damn, I should have just stopped after that eighth lap. I can't believe I did another four. I just couldn't help myself." Injuries aside, there's never a reason to not run as much as you want. There's never enough muscle pain to equal a bad hangover.
Of course beer is lovely and I'm not going to give up alcohol and start running twice a day. But it's funny (and maybe frustrating) that the things that really are a challenge, that don't feel easy and good all the way through, end up making us feel great when they're done. Nothing worth doing is easy. Anything worth doing is hard. Tension and balance and all that.
It's strange how both alcohol and exercise can bring about a kind of euphoria and a weird sense they both should be pursued on a more regular basis. But that's where the similarities end. Unlike a good run, pushing myself and then feeling full of life and possibilities afterwards as I stretch, the final result of downing more than two drinks (yes, I'm a lightweight) is more likely to make me want to wretch. Not fun. Doesn't make me feel better about myself. Sometimes even one glass of red wine is enough to make my pillow feel like a vice the next morning. Who doesn't want to erase the past 12 hours and do away with the pain? And who has ever regretted lacing up and going for a short lope around the neighbourhood? No one's ever woken up after jogging, stumbled over to the mirror to wince at his or her pasty, gaunt face and said, "Oh, man, that was stupid." It doesn't happen. It's not easy to push your workout too far. You can't black out and slide down the slippery slope of losing count while binging on the perfect poison of lactic acid. No one's ever heard a runner on the phone at work, holding her head in her hand, saying, "Damn, I should have just stopped after that eighth lap. I can't believe I did another four. I just couldn't help myself." Injuries aside, there's never a reason to not run as much as you want. There's never enough muscle pain to equal a bad hangover.
Of course beer is lovely and I'm not going to give up alcohol and start running twice a day. But it's funny (and maybe frustrating) that the things that really are a challenge, that don't feel easy and good all the way through, end up making us feel great when they're done. Nothing worth doing is easy. Anything worth doing is hard. Tension and balance and all that.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Bitch 'n stitch
Being about halfway through the dreaded knitting project (a simple scarf), I feel I should just motor on regardless of the loops and holes and weird variations in thickness I can't explain. So I brought my work to my mom to ask for some advice yesterday and she showed me what I was doing wrong with the purl stitch. She watched me try another row and I was complaining how difficult it was and she thought this was funny because for her knitting (and all other sartorial exercises) is just something she used to do while watching TV before Julia Roberts made it cool. Actually, when she saw me struggling to figure out why I couldn't pull the wool below the needle but had to pull it over the top when I started a new row, she was belly laughing. When I reached the peak of frustration before handing it back to her to sort out, exclaiming "Son of a bitch," that was it. She was just about falling over with tears of jocundity streaming down her face. (You'd have to see my mother laughing to understand just how intense it is. Is she sobbing? No wait, she's laughing. Ha ha. Ha.) At least she told me it made her day to have such a good guffaw. I guess that's a sort of consolation to my lack of knitting skillz. To top it off, I went to a friend's in Vancouver for dinner tonight and she had her knitting project strewn casually on the couch ("Oh, yeah, I just started last week. Isn't it fun?") as a side project to organic gardening and practicing law. Why are the little things in my life so HUGE? I can't even get through a scarf. It takes intense concentration. PLUS, it's not fun. Not really at all. Sitting in bed working through five rows of rib stitch, counting in twos to make sure I don't screw up the order makes me feel like I'm working in a sweat shop. And it's itchy and makes me too hot. That's why I took a knitting hiatus over the summer. But I'm back at it, and I'm going to finish the damn thing by Christmas if it kills me.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Mid-life
I may not be middle-aged, but I think I have reached mid-life.
There are lots of ways to think about dividing life into segments, but lately the way I've been thinking about life is in three parts: school, work and retirement. The first part is easy. Everybody has to go through school, and it's basically the same thing for everyone. We're all equal while we're in school, because the losers and the winners all have to spend the same 10 months going through the same courses to go on to the next Grade. And then, after university, or college, or whatever other plan to stall "real life" has run its course, bam, the second part hits: work.
Unlike school, in which life is neatly segmented into numbered years (Grades 1-12, years 1-4) and expectations around finances (student loan, anyone?) or housing (it's perfectly acceptable to live with mom and dad) are at their lowest, there suddenly comes the moment when school is over, even if you don't want it to be.
If anyone asks you what you're up to when you're enrolled in a course or five, you just nonchalantly answer, "Oh, I'm going to (insert name of university here), getting my (insert name of post-graduate degree here)," and everyone thinks your life is fabulous.
I miss the fabulous. The second part of my life, "work," is a lot more challenging to figure out. Years of work are not neatly numbered. I didn't graduate from Grade 1 of journalism this June, though I had just finished my first full year of full-time work. No one gave me a certificate or anything. My employers do not give me two months off every summer, and I have to pay back the money I borrowed for the first segment of my life.
It's all open-ended. And it freaks me out. I'm 28 and it's September and I'm not in school and I wish I were. I wish I could say I was in grad school. This second part of my life, in which I am expected to just work all the time, has been avoided for as long as possible (I took a year off to go to J-school), but now seems, unfortunately, the reason for my existence. And here's the really scary thing: the third part,"retirement," doesn't happen for a hell of a long time from now, and it's probably going to be a lot shorter than the "work" part. This middle-life stage has got me stumped.
How can I be expected to pursue all that life has to offer and follow my goals and dreams if I have to worry about working all the time? And where are the teachers? How do I know when I'm passing or failing? When's recess?
There are lots of ways to think about dividing life into segments, but lately the way I've been thinking about life is in three parts: school, work and retirement. The first part is easy. Everybody has to go through school, and it's basically the same thing for everyone. We're all equal while we're in school, because the losers and the winners all have to spend the same 10 months going through the same courses to go on to the next Grade. And then, after university, or college, or whatever other plan to stall "real life" has run its course, bam, the second part hits: work.
Unlike school, in which life is neatly segmented into numbered years (Grades 1-12, years 1-4) and expectations around finances (student loan, anyone?) or housing (it's perfectly acceptable to live with mom and dad) are at their lowest, there suddenly comes the moment when school is over, even if you don't want it to be.
If anyone asks you what you're up to when you're enrolled in a course or five, you just nonchalantly answer, "Oh, I'm going to (insert name of university here), getting my (insert name of post-graduate degree here)," and everyone thinks your life is fabulous.
I miss the fabulous. The second part of my life, "work," is a lot more challenging to figure out. Years of work are not neatly numbered. I didn't graduate from Grade 1 of journalism this June, though I had just finished my first full year of full-time work. No one gave me a certificate or anything. My employers do not give me two months off every summer, and I have to pay back the money I borrowed for the first segment of my life.
It's all open-ended. And it freaks me out. I'm 28 and it's September and I'm not in school and I wish I were. I wish I could say I was in grad school. This second part of my life, in which I am expected to just work all the time, has been avoided for as long as possible (I took a year off to go to J-school), but now seems, unfortunately, the reason for my existence. And here's the really scary thing: the third part,"retirement," doesn't happen for a hell of a long time from now, and it's probably going to be a lot shorter than the "work" part. This middle-life stage has got me stumped.
How can I be expected to pursue all that life has to offer and follow my goals and dreams if I have to worry about working all the time? And where are the teachers? How do I know when I'm passing or failing? When's recess?
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Keeping momentum going
The half marathon has been postponed since I hadn't been running before this week in about a month. I don't know how my upward trajectory can suddenly fizzle and fall back to the easy routine of not running at all, especially when I was doing so well, but there it is. Probably a lot to do with leaving my job and moving back to the Lower Mainland. However, all is not lost.
I've been running each day this week, and I'm going to sign up for shorter distance race (8km or 10km?) sometime before Christmas. That will at least motivate my feet to keep going even when the weather is bad. And I don't doubt the weather will be bad again soon since I've recently returned from Merritt to the Lower Mainland. Now that I've got this time to look for other opportunities, I might as well run. A lot.
I'm also taking up knitting again with a vengeance (the scarf must be done by Christmas!) and plannig to learn to cook some real food. One day I'll be a gourmet. One day I will serve a great meal for friends, but for now, I'm just going to get the basics down. Last night I made a really nice sockeye salmon fillet, marinated and baked, with rice and broccoli. Tasty, healthy and oh, so like a real grownup.
I've been running each day this week, and I'm going to sign up for shorter distance race (8km or 10km?) sometime before Christmas. That will at least motivate my feet to keep going even when the weather is bad. And I don't doubt the weather will be bad again soon since I've recently returned from Merritt to the Lower Mainland. Now that I've got this time to look for other opportunities, I might as well run. A lot.
I'm also taking up knitting again with a vengeance (the scarf must be done by Christmas!) and plannig to learn to cook some real food. One day I'll be a gourmet. One day I will serve a great meal for friends, but for now, I'm just going to get the basics down. Last night I made a really nice sockeye salmon fillet, marinated and baked, with rice and broccoli. Tasty, healthy and oh, so like a real grownup.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Big Sisters
I've decided it's about time I looked into some volunteer organizations I've wanted to get involved with for years.
One of them, Big Sisters, is an organization that pairs up girls (ages seven to 17) from single-parent homes with a woman who will spend time with her as a mentor and a buddy. I've been thinking it would be really fun to hang out with a kid once a week and get more involved in the community. Also, it's the Big Sisters' 50th anniversary in the Lower Mainland this year, so it seems like a good time to finally sign up.
Seems pretty easy to get involved. All you have to do is:
1. Fill out the application online and send it in.
2. Get a criminal record check done at your local police station (usually free for volunteers)
3. Have an interview with a counsellor
4. Attend a training session
Qualifications include:
1. Age 19 or older
2. Resident of Canada
3. Maturity, reliability, and interest in spending three to five hours a week with a young girl for at least a year
Considering the list of cool activities the Big Sisters website lists as suggested things to do together, I think this might be filed under "volunteer position for those who just want to have fun."
I've perused the Big Sisters website and I checked out an info session a couple of years ago, actually. Now it seems I just have to confirm where I'm going to be for the next year and then I can send in my application.
One of them, Big Sisters, is an organization that pairs up girls (ages seven to 17) from single-parent homes with a woman who will spend time with her as a mentor and a buddy. I've been thinking it would be really fun to hang out with a kid once a week and get more involved in the community. Also, it's the Big Sisters' 50th anniversary in the Lower Mainland this year, so it seems like a good time to finally sign up.
Seems pretty easy to get involved. All you have to do is:
1. Fill out the application online and send it in.
2. Get a criminal record check done at your local police station (usually free for volunteers)
3. Have an interview with a counsellor
4. Attend a training session
Qualifications include:
1. Age 19 or older
2. Resident of Canada
3. Maturity, reliability, and interest in spending three to five hours a week with a young girl for at least a year
Considering the list of cool activities the Big Sisters website lists as suggested things to do together, I think this might be filed under "volunteer position for those who just want to have fun."
I've perused the Big Sisters website and I checked out an info session a couple of years ago, actually. Now it seems I just have to confirm where I'm going to be for the next year and then I can send in my application.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Like no one's watching
Living alone, I have found, has a few distinct advantages over co-habiting.
The most recent one I discovered is the opportunity to turn on my stereo and dance like no one's watching to whatever kind of music I happen to find most exhilarating, whenever I like. Just yesterday I came home from work to bust a move while I was making dinner. Did I dance like Elaine or Karen Kain?
The only one who will ever know is me.
The most recent one I discovered is the opportunity to turn on my stereo and dance like no one's watching to whatever kind of music I happen to find most exhilarating, whenever I like. Just yesterday I came home from work to bust a move while I was making dinner. Did I dance like Elaine or Karen Kain?
The only one who will ever know is me.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Cross Training
Last night after work I went for a good 45 min run along the truck route in Merritt. Very windy, but pretty. My knees held up just fine. But if I'm going to start upping the distances to train for the half, I'm going to need to cross-train so I don't end up crippled in October. I don't want to invest in a gym membership, so I'm looking for alternative ways to cross-train.
Any suggestions?
I think quads are the most important muscle group to strengthen if you want to avoid runner's knee. Something about the knee cap tracking correctly. If anyone knows about exercises that can be done at home I would be more than grateful to hear about them.
Any suggestions?
I think quads are the most important muscle group to strengthen if you want to avoid runner's knee. Something about the knee cap tracking correctly. If anyone knows about exercises that can be done at home I would be more than grateful to hear about them.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
10 km PR - 56:27
Yesterday I ran the Summerfast 10 km at Stanley Park with two friends, and got my best time yet for that distance - 56:27. The course was flat, so it was easier than the one in Abbotsford, but there was only one water station, so that added a challenge. Good run, though. Surprised my knees didn't hurt at all either during or after the race (is it all in my head, anyway?)
Hadn't run for about a week before because my knees were hurting, and was starting to doubt my ability to run a half marathon in the fall. But it's all good now. If I can do 10 km in under an hour, I can do a half marathon, no sweat. Well, some sweat, but no injuries. I've no time goal, just a solid run and a good finish.
Last night I watched Without Limits, the Billy Crudup/Donald Sutherland fick about Steve Prefontaine. Not the best film in the world, but Donald Sutherland has an AMAZINGLY good monologue, and the story is still pretty inspiring.
I'm going to scale back on the number of runs I do every week, and only start upping the distance towards the end of August. I do need to start cross-training asap, however.
Strong quads = no knee pain.
Hadn't run for about a week before because my knees were hurting, and was starting to doubt my ability to run a half marathon in the fall. But it's all good now. If I can do 10 km in under an hour, I can do a half marathon, no sweat. Well, some sweat, but no injuries. I've no time goal, just a solid run and a good finish.
Last night I watched Without Limits, the Billy Crudup/Donald Sutherland fick about Steve Prefontaine. Not the best film in the world, but Donald Sutherland has an AMAZINGLY good monologue, and the story is still pretty inspiring.
I'm going to scale back on the number of runs I do every week, and only start upping the distance towards the end of August. I do need to start cross-training asap, however.
Strong quads = no knee pain.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Half Marathon Plan
On Saturday I started training for a half marathon, which will be on Oct. 10 (10/10/10). Haven't signed up and paid to register yet, because I still don't quite know I'll be able to run that far (21.09 km), but the training schedule seems do-able.
http://www.runvictoriamarathon.com/training/traininghalf.php
Then again, I've only just started training, and I've never run farther than 10 km. Ever. The plan is the 14 week "just in time," which makes me wonder, when SHOULD I have started training??
But running is still fun so far, and, fingers crossed, I've not been injured or really sore at all. I hope to keep it that way.
Some things I've discovered about running in the last few months:
1. It's easier to run with music than without.
2. Some songs are better than others at keeping up the inspiration, and it's not always the ones you'd expect.
3. I should really carry a tape recorder with me when I hit the road because I have grand thoughts while I'm jogging, but forget them as soon as I take off my runners.
4. Running ALWAYS sucks in the beginning and ALWAYS feels incredibly awesome by the end.
I know I'll be able to finish the half if I train right and don't over-do it, but I have to admit I'm worried about injuring my knees or something before I even get to the start line. But if I'm ever going to run a marathon, I guess I have to start with a half. If I can't do that, well, then, at least I'll know.
http://www.runvictoriamarathon.com/training/traininghalf.php
Then again, I've only just started training, and I've never run farther than 10 km. Ever. The plan is the 14 week "just in time," which makes me wonder, when SHOULD I have started training??
But running is still fun so far, and, fingers crossed, I've not been injured or really sore at all. I hope to keep it that way.
Some things I've discovered about running in the last few months:
1. It's easier to run with music than without.
2. Some songs are better than others at keeping up the inspiration, and it's not always the ones you'd expect.
3. I should really carry a tape recorder with me when I hit the road because I have grand thoughts while I'm jogging, but forget them as soon as I take off my runners.
4. Running ALWAYS sucks in the beginning and ALWAYS feels incredibly awesome by the end.
I know I'll be able to finish the half if I train right and don't over-do it, but I have to admit I'm worried about injuring my knees or something before I even get to the start line. But if I'm ever going to run a marathon, I guess I have to start with a half. If I can't do that, well, then, at least I'll know.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Audacious Hope
When Sylvia Ruegger was 15, she watched the 1976 Montreal Olympics on TV and decided right there and then that she would run for Canada in the Games. On a piece of paper, she wrote down, "My goal: to make it to the 1980 Olympics in Russia and win for Canada." She put that piece of paper under a floor board in her farmhouse bedroom and told no one about her aspirations.
She called it audacious hope. To believe that she'd be able to do it.
She started running, on her own, in the early mornings before school. Her mother followed behind her in the car along country roads, with the headlights on so she could see where she was going.
Ruegger didn't make it to the 1980 Games.
But she did make it to the 1984 Olympics in L.A., and represented Canada in the marathon event – the first time women were allowed to compete in the marathon. She didn't win, but she came in eight place.
My mom and I went to hear Ruegger give a talk at the Runner's Den in Port Moody some time ago, where she showed a video clip of her final lap around the stadium. It was one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen.
She also brought her bib from the race framed behind glass. LA 84. 060. Games of the XXIIIrd Olympiad. Ruegger.
Below it was the piece of paper she had found still underneath the floor board in her old room at the farmhouse.
When I run I often think of Sylvia Ruegger, a great Canadian runner. I like her story. I like the way she set a goal, wrote it down, and followed through. I want to be just like her.
I want to run a marathon. Not in the Olympics, and not to win, but just to be able to say that I accomplished my goal.
Audacious hope.
She called it audacious hope. To believe that she'd be able to do it.
She started running, on her own, in the early mornings before school. Her mother followed behind her in the car along country roads, with the headlights on so she could see where she was going.
Ruegger didn't make it to the 1980 Games.
But she did make it to the 1984 Olympics in L.A., and represented Canada in the marathon event – the first time women were allowed to compete in the marathon. She didn't win, but she came in eight place.
My mom and I went to hear Ruegger give a talk at the Runner's Den in Port Moody some time ago, where she showed a video clip of her final lap around the stadium. It was one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen.
She also brought her bib from the race framed behind glass. LA 84. 060. Games of the XXIIIrd Olympiad. Ruegger.
Below it was the piece of paper she had found still underneath the floor board in her old room at the farmhouse.
When I run I often think of Sylvia Ruegger, a great Canadian runner. I like her story. I like the way she set a goal, wrote it down, and followed through. I want to be just like her.
I want to run a marathon. Not in the Olympics, and not to win, but just to be able to say that I accomplished my goal.
Audacious hope.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
#22 - No TV for One Year
It is in the improvident use of our leisure, I suspect, that the greatest wastes of American life occur." - Robert Park, 20th Century sociologist
As of today, I have been sans TV for a whole year. A whole trip around the sun without the boob tube and I'm doing alright. In fact, I really don't miss it at all. For a quick movie fix there's the laptop, and it's just so nice to be able to never have to listen to a single ad. I've even stopped listening to the radio to avoid incessant commercials.
This past year I've read more, gone to bed at a reasonable time, and done other things, like knitting and learning to play tennis, which I never seemed to have time for when there was always "something on."
Without TV, I have more free time.
I think Rhonda Byrne and her followers were wrong -- the "Secret" to happiness is not out there in the universe, to be acquired through the power of blah, blah, blah... It's how we use what's between our ears that makes us truly happy and satisfied with ourselves and our lives.
Enter Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of Flow, the Psychology of Optimal Experience. I wish I'd found this guy years ago. He's a psychologist at of the U of Chicago who wrote this book on the results of several studies about what makes people happy, or, what he refers to as being "in flow." He suggests that to really enjoy (not just find shallow pleasurable moments in) life, we need to cultivate our ability to get the most out of every experience. If we lose ourselves in an activity (and there are countless options) that both challenge us and make us focus our attention, then we will find ourselves really getting the most out of our minds, bodies and souls.
Of course, not every experience is created equal. The worst of all, of course, is to passively absorb TV.
Here's why:
"Compared to people living only a few generations ago, we have enormously greater opportunities to have a good time, yet there is no indication that we actually enjoy life more than our ancestors did. Opportunities alone, however, are not enough. We also need the skills to make use of them. And we need to know how to control consciousness -- a skill that most people have not learned to cultivate. Surrounded by an astounding panoply of recreational gadgets and leisure choices, most of us go on being bored and vaguely frustrated." (Flow, ch. 4, p. 83)
Csikszentmihalyi believes enjoyment comes through work, not aimless, lackadaisical loafing. To experience real enjoyment, to really ENJOY ourselves, we have to WORK at having a good time. Because to have a good time means to DO something, to engage in something (tennis, reading, chess, debating, playing an instrument, golfing, yoga, drawing, karate, carpentry, etc. etc.) that makes use of our minds and bodies and forces us to concentrate. In doing this, as long as there the right amount of stimulation without frustration or boredom, we will lose ourselves in the moment. And it is in these moments (which we can hopefully make last), that we enjoy life and experience, at least what most would call, happiness.
"Unless a person takes charge of them, both work and free time are likely to be disappointing. Most jobs and many leisure activities -- especially those that involve the passive consumption of mass media -- are not designed to make us happy and strong. Their purpose is to make money for someone else. If we allow them to, they can suck out the marrow of our lives, leaving only feeble husks." (Flow, ch. 7, p. 163)
Happiness comes not from tuning out to simply absorb what we call entertainment, but from actively engaging with the world so that we feel we are truly part of it and can have a real effect on it.
Since TV in no way provides this kind of opportunity, it is quite literally a waste of life.
As Neil Postman says in his book Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business (1985), "The problem is not that television presents us with entertaining subject matter but that all subject matter is presented as entertaining..." (Amusing, ch. 6, p. 87)
I guess there's a reason they call it the idiot box.
So here's to Aldous Huxley and his warning about the future of bread and circuses... and to Neil Postman for his tribute to Huxley... and especially to Csikszentmihalyi, for not only tying these others' ideas in nicely with his own theory, but for giving us an alternative to TV. Here's to being in flow.
Posts related to No TV:
(Nov. 5, 2009)
Home Alone
(July 2, 2009)
TV-Free
As of today, I have been sans TV for a whole year. A whole trip around the sun without the boob tube and I'm doing alright. In fact, I really don't miss it at all. For a quick movie fix there's the laptop, and it's just so nice to be able to never have to listen to a single ad. I've even stopped listening to the radio to avoid incessant commercials.
This past year I've read more, gone to bed at a reasonable time, and done other things, like knitting and learning to play tennis, which I never seemed to have time for when there was always "something on."
Without TV, I have more free time.
I think Rhonda Byrne and her followers were wrong -- the "Secret" to happiness is not out there in the universe, to be acquired through the power of blah, blah, blah... It's how we use what's between our ears that makes us truly happy and satisfied with ourselves and our lives.
Enter Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the author of Flow, the Psychology of Optimal Experience. I wish I'd found this guy years ago. He's a psychologist at of the U of Chicago who wrote this book on the results of several studies about what makes people happy, or, what he refers to as being "in flow." He suggests that to really enjoy (not just find shallow pleasurable moments in) life, we need to cultivate our ability to get the most out of every experience. If we lose ourselves in an activity (and there are countless options) that both challenge us and make us focus our attention, then we will find ourselves really getting the most out of our minds, bodies and souls.
Of course, not every experience is created equal. The worst of all, of course, is to passively absorb TV.
Here's why:
"Compared to people living only a few generations ago, we have enormously greater opportunities to have a good time, yet there is no indication that we actually enjoy life more than our ancestors did. Opportunities alone, however, are not enough. We also need the skills to make use of them. And we need to know how to control consciousness -- a skill that most people have not learned to cultivate. Surrounded by an astounding panoply of recreational gadgets and leisure choices, most of us go on being bored and vaguely frustrated." (Flow, ch. 4, p. 83)
Csikszentmihalyi believes enjoyment comes through work, not aimless, lackadaisical loafing. To experience real enjoyment, to really ENJOY ourselves, we have to WORK at having a good time. Because to have a good time means to DO something, to engage in something (tennis, reading, chess, debating, playing an instrument, golfing, yoga, drawing, karate, carpentry, etc. etc.) that makes use of our minds and bodies and forces us to concentrate. In doing this, as long as there the right amount of stimulation without frustration or boredom, we will lose ourselves in the moment. And it is in these moments (which we can hopefully make last), that we enjoy life and experience, at least what most would call, happiness.
"Unless a person takes charge of them, both work and free time are likely to be disappointing. Most jobs and many leisure activities -- especially those that involve the passive consumption of mass media -- are not designed to make us happy and strong. Their purpose is to make money for someone else. If we allow them to, they can suck out the marrow of our lives, leaving only feeble husks." (Flow, ch. 7, p. 163)
Happiness comes not from tuning out to simply absorb what we call entertainment, but from actively engaging with the world so that we feel we are truly part of it and can have a real effect on it.
Since TV in no way provides this kind of opportunity, it is quite literally a waste of life.
As Neil Postman says in his book Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business (1985), "The problem is not that television presents us with entertaining subject matter but that all subject matter is presented as entertaining..." (Amusing, ch. 6, p. 87)
I guess there's a reason they call it the idiot box.
So here's to Aldous Huxley and his warning about the future of bread and circuses... and to Neil Postman for his tribute to Huxley... and especially to Csikszentmihalyi, for not only tying these others' ideas in nicely with his own theory, but for giving us an alternative to TV. Here's to being in flow.
Posts related to No TV:
(Nov. 5, 2009)
Home Alone
(July 2, 2009)
TV-Free
Sunday, May 30, 2010
10 km PR - 58:31
The thing about pain is that once it stops you can't remember what it feels like.
So, as much as I KNOW the last 2 km of the 10 km race I did this morning were nausea-inducing and made my quads feel like lead, I WILL do another one.
I overslept, ate a fried egg for breakfast about half an hour before the race, didn't have anything to drink, and ran it in 58:31, which is my best time for a 10 km.
The Abbotsford Run For Water is a good course, despite the hills, and they give out great medals and dry weave T-shirts. Having not run for the past two weeks (hurt my back a couple weekends ago, making the bed of all things!)I figured I would just walk every 10 minutes or so... but taking it easy for the first six kilometres was obviously the best thing to do because I finished in under an hour! Definitely didn't expect to finish only one minute behind my friend Mike, who is about a foot taller than me and has a hundred pounds on me. Hurray! I feel awesome!
Stretching a lot more post-race would probably have been a good idea, but we were just too excited and hungry and wanted to get to Milestones to celebrate. Probably going to regret that tomorrow, but for now, the memory of heavy legs, laboured breathing and a stomach-churning sprint to the finish has all but evaporated.
I can't wait to do another run! Perhaps the 10 km in Merritt, or an 8 km in July.
So, as much as I KNOW the last 2 km of the 10 km race I did this morning were nausea-inducing and made my quads feel like lead, I WILL do another one.
I overslept, ate a fried egg for breakfast about half an hour before the race, didn't have anything to drink, and ran it in 58:31, which is my best time for a 10 km.
The Abbotsford Run For Water is a good course, despite the hills, and they give out great medals and dry weave T-shirts. Having not run for the past two weeks (hurt my back a couple weekends ago, making the bed of all things!)I figured I would just walk every 10 minutes or so... but taking it easy for the first six kilometres was obviously the best thing to do because I finished in under an hour! Definitely didn't expect to finish only one minute behind my friend Mike, who is about a foot taller than me and has a hundred pounds on me. Hurray! I feel awesome!
Stretching a lot more post-race would probably have been a good idea, but we were just too excited and hungry and wanted to get to Milestones to celebrate. Probably going to regret that tomorrow, but for now, the memory of heavy legs, laboured breathing and a stomach-churning sprint to the finish has all but evaporated.
I can't wait to do another run! Perhaps the 10 km in Merritt, or an 8 km in July.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Living Alone
Well, I've been living on my own for six months now, and although I should feel pleased about being halfway to my goal of doing my own thing for a year, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
I've decided I just don't like being alone this much. There are definitely advantages, like eating what I want, when I want, and turning up the stereo at midnight, if I happen to feel like it, but really, I prefer to have people around. It's nice to have someone to come home to, even if it's just a roommate. I have fond memories of the Pineapple and my New West peeps.
It doesn't help to avoid thoughts of eternal solitude when the view from my kitchen window is of a funeral home across the street that reminds me every morning of my inevitable demise, and stark truth of my soul's essential solitude. "In the end, we're all alone," is what that funeral home tells me while I stand at the window drinking my smoothie. To which I reply, "Thanks. Have a nice day." And then I go to work.
I think having a cat would make a big difference. Hell, having a couch would make a big difference. Maybe that's the real issue. My apartment is stoically furnished. And my house plant, the well-loved Jennifer Gray, finally gave up the ghost this week, leaving me the sole life form to inhabit my home (unless you count the bacteria quietly taking over the dark corners under the sink I don't see when I do get round to cleaning). I need more than that.
Six months to go to fulfill my goal of being alone and learning to be okay with the idea. I'll see if I can learn to be zen about it, but some days I just wish I had crazy roommates to make me wish I had my own place.
I've decided I just don't like being alone this much. There are definitely advantages, like eating what I want, when I want, and turning up the stereo at midnight, if I happen to feel like it, but really, I prefer to have people around. It's nice to have someone to come home to, even if it's just a roommate. I have fond memories of the Pineapple and my New West peeps.
It doesn't help to avoid thoughts of eternal solitude when the view from my kitchen window is of a funeral home across the street that reminds me every morning of my inevitable demise, and stark truth of my soul's essential solitude. "In the end, we're all alone," is what that funeral home tells me while I stand at the window drinking my smoothie. To which I reply, "Thanks. Have a nice day." And then I go to work.
I think having a cat would make a big difference. Hell, having a couch would make a big difference. Maybe that's the real issue. My apartment is stoically furnished. And my house plant, the well-loved Jennifer Gray, finally gave up the ghost this week, leaving me the sole life form to inhabit my home (unless you count the bacteria quietly taking over the dark corners under the sink I don't see when I do get round to cleaning). I need more than that.
Six months to go to fulfill my goal of being alone and learning to be okay with the idea. I'll see if I can learn to be zen about it, but some days I just wish I had crazy roommates to make me wish I had my own place.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
10 km
Every time I think about going for a run I think, "No. I don't even want to go outside right now. It's cold, and windy, and I'm tired."
But then I put on my shoes and pop in my contacts and throw on a hoodie and go and I think, "Holy Crap, this is worse than I thought: it's REALLY windy and my feet hurt. Why am I doing this, it sucks."
But then after about 10 minutes of griping I inevitably start to feel okay because I get into a rhythm, and warm up and I notice things like birds and other elements of nature that people write epic poems about, and I start to feel good. And then, almost always, that feeling rises to a crescendo that honestly makes me want to weep with joy and I feel gratitude wash over me, and it's awesome.
Not always, of course. Sometimes running only feels good once it stops. But most of the time I feel on top of the world.
Still, it doesn't hurt to have a concrete goal to work towards just in case that motivation is forgotten and I go off track. So today I registered for the Abbotsford Run for Water 10 km, May 30. The last time I ran more than 7 km km was in 2007, when I did the Sun Run. I think my time was 1:13 but I had to stop and wait in a port-a-potty lineup, so I think I can shave about five minutes off that time and say I did it in 1:08.
My goal is to run the 10 km next month in under one hour. Today I ran for 40 minutes (probably about 6 km) and enjoyed the endorphins or whatever else causes what I can only assume is my experience of "runner's high," so I think that goal is reasonable. It's always easier to run faster during a race than at normal training speed, anyway.
Bring it on.
But then I put on my shoes and pop in my contacts and throw on a hoodie and go and I think, "Holy Crap, this is worse than I thought: it's REALLY windy and my feet hurt. Why am I doing this, it sucks."
But then after about 10 minutes of griping I inevitably start to feel okay because I get into a rhythm, and warm up and I notice things like birds and other elements of nature that people write epic poems about, and I start to feel good. And then, almost always, that feeling rises to a crescendo that honestly makes me want to weep with joy and I feel gratitude wash over me, and it's awesome.
Not always, of course. Sometimes running only feels good once it stops. But most of the time I feel on top of the world.
Still, it doesn't hurt to have a concrete goal to work towards just in case that motivation is forgotten and I go off track. So today I registered for the Abbotsford Run for Water 10 km, May 30. The last time I ran more than 7 km km was in 2007, when I did the Sun Run. I think my time was 1:13 but I had to stop and wait in a port-a-potty lineup, so I think I can shave about five minutes off that time and say I did it in 1:08.
My goal is to run the 10 km next month in under one hour. Today I ran for 40 minutes (probably about 6 km) and enjoyed the endorphins or whatever else causes what I can only assume is my experience of "runner's high," so I think that goal is reasonable. It's always easier to run faster during a race than at normal training speed, anyway.
Bring it on.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
#30 - Grand Canyon
The Grand Canyon is aptly named, and I have now seen it, up close and personal. I wasn't surprised by the depth of the Canyon because I've seen a million pictures of it. What did surprise me was how cold it was at the south rim. Of course, it was March, and not July, but there were patches of snow still on the ground! I naively thought the Mojave desert would be full of hot dry sand and nothing else, but it was full of gently rolling hills covered in short scrubby trees. I saw a Joshua tree, which was kind of cool. Made me think of U2.
My great friend Lindsay and I went to Vegas for four days, and one of those days was spent getting to the Canyon on a tour bus. That was definitely the highlight of the trip. The Canyon is flippin' huge, and we were only there for about two hours. It goes down in giant steps, and you can't even see into the deepest part where the Colorado River flows. The rock faces are strangley layered colours: red, orange, sandstone and a kind of muted green. It's very beautiful and awe-inspiring and I need to go back and spend more time there. I want to take a mule trek down to the bottom, or hike down and raft on the river. Tours are all well and good when you don't have much time, but really, for the Canyon you need more time. It's just so big.
Vegas, on the other hand, was less than awe-inspiring. Frankly, I thought it was tacky and depressing. I spent a total of $6 gambling and I think I had a total of three drinks. Got to admit it was a novelty to drink Budweiser on the street and not be hassled for it, but on the other hand, the place is just another big hole. Unlike the Canyon, which fills the soul (or some other poetic description that eludes me right now) the Strip just leaves me feeling emotionally void.
Very glad to have seen the Grand Canyon. That was really just a taste though. One day I will go back for the whole thing.
Posts related to Grand Canyon:
(March 6, 2010)
Baby Steps
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Book Club Blues
I don't know what happened. One day we were all reading, and meeting and discussion literature, and the next, we had disbanded as a book club. Two members who were involved suddenly were no longer an item, which naturally caused a rift, and then the book set Sarah ordered for us to read next seems to have just got lost in the mail. We were supposed to meet March 5, which fell through, and I have no idea what's going to happen now. I feel all adrift...
And I have a stack of half read non-fiction books piled next to my bed. Maybe this is a good excuse to get through them.
And I have a stack of half read non-fiction books piled next to my bed. Maybe this is a good excuse to get through them.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Baby steps
So I've crossed off a few items from my list, and will be able to cross off a few more this year, for sure. Grand Canyon next month. Check. Scarf finished by Christmas. Check. No TV for a year. June 1, check.
I've been running off and on since last summer, though more off than on, and I've signed up for a 5 km race in Vancouver on March 13. No plans to beat my PR of 28:30, but it's something to train for. Should be fun to wear green and have a pint afterward with my friend Mike.
The scarf is not going so well, however. I figured out purl and plain (they seem to be the exact same anyway) and I've been doing a section with the "rib stitch." But there are holes and I've missed a couple of loops and in some parts I obviously added a few stitches because the whole thing isn't quite even. The biggest problem is that it's way too wide, which means it's taking me literally double the time it should. Ah, well. It's my first knitting project. At least it will be warm.
Can't wait to go to Vegas. Never been, and though I don't drink, smoke or gamble, I'm sure it will be something to see with my best friend, Lindsay. And... we have a day trip planned for the Grand Canyon. Better not forget my camera!
Taking lots of photos for work, but my photography skills still have a ways to go.
Still trying to locate a cow to milk. This is harder than it sounds.
So it's baby steps with my life list, but I'm making some headway. Who knows what other opportunities may come up this year? Maybe I will find that elusive cow. Maybe I'll earn that nifty nickname.
I've been running off and on since last summer, though more off than on, and I've signed up for a 5 km race in Vancouver on March 13. No plans to beat my PR of 28:30, but it's something to train for. Should be fun to wear green and have a pint afterward with my friend Mike.
The scarf is not going so well, however. I figured out purl and plain (they seem to be the exact same anyway) and I've been doing a section with the "rib stitch." But there are holes and I've missed a couple of loops and in some parts I obviously added a few stitches because the whole thing isn't quite even. The biggest problem is that it's way too wide, which means it's taking me literally double the time it should. Ah, well. It's my first knitting project. At least it will be warm.
Can't wait to go to Vegas. Never been, and though I don't drink, smoke or gamble, I'm sure it will be something to see with my best friend, Lindsay. And... we have a day trip planned for the Grand Canyon. Better not forget my camera!
Taking lots of photos for work, but my photography skills still have a ways to go.
Still trying to locate a cow to milk. This is harder than it sounds.
So it's baby steps with my life list, but I'm making some headway. Who knows what other opportunities may come up this year? Maybe I will find that elusive cow. Maybe I'll earn that nifty nickname.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
#40 - Go to the Olympics
Well, I got to go to the Olympics -- not just any Olympics, but the Games that were held in my home town!
My mom managed to get a couple of tickets to the Opening Ceremonies, Feb. 12 and took me to see the show. And what a show. We sat right down near the floor level just to the right of the main stage. Everything was bright and loud. The special effects were awesome, the music was great, the speeches were not too long, and the stadium erupted in proud cheering when the Canadian athletes finally came in carrying the flag. The most stirring moment, for me, was when there was a minute of silence for Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili who died that day in a practice run. You could almost hear a pin drop despite there being over 60,000 people standing together. The entire show went smoothly, of course, until the very last moment when the torch was lit and poor Catriona Lemay Doan didn't get to light the cauldron because of a mechanical malfunction. But the fact that the big reveal about who would get to finish the three-month long torch relay across Canada that night to light the cauldron was that it was four instead of one person, was just great. Oh, so Canadian.
The next two weeks were filled with glimpses of the Games on random TVs,
and excitement building with each medal won for Canada. Of course the finale came on Sunday, Feb. 28 with the men's Gold medal hockey game against the U.S. If I were a nail-biter I would have been down to the cuticles by the time we got to Crosby's breath-taking goal in overtime that sent this nation into a frenzy of joy. I was sitting in a crepe shop in Yaletown in front of a big screen TV on an eerily quiet street. With each goal scored for Canada I raced outside into the street and stood beneath the skyscrapers and just listened. Cheering coming from every direction and all the apartments high above me.
With the winning goal I was hugging everyone in the store and then skipping up the streets to converge with the rest of the crowds all wearing red and carrying flags to simply rejoice. I have never received so many high fives in my life. I have never seen so many people in one spot wearing so many huge smiles. We were yelling and singing O, Canada at random moments. Granville and Robson became a mass of proud Canadians unable to contain their need to be ecstatic about owning the podium. Canadians have now broken the world record for most gold medals won in any Winter Olympics Games.
I was just happy to have a reason to wave my flag and know that this was a day I will never forget. It was like we had won the war. Pride. Elation. And relief.
Who knows where we'd be without Roberto Luongo and, of course, the next Great One, Sidney Crosby.
I have now been to the Olympic Games. What a party.
Posts related to the Olympics:
(June 9, 2009)
Olympic Letdown
Olympic Letdown
My mom managed to get a couple of tickets to the Opening Ceremonies, Feb. 12 and took me to see the show. And what a show. We sat right down near the floor level just to the right of the main stage. Everything was bright and loud. The special effects were awesome, the music was great, the speeches were not too long, and the stadium erupted in proud cheering when the Canadian athletes finally came in carrying the flag. The most stirring moment, for me, was when there was a minute of silence for Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili who died that day in a practice run. You could almost hear a pin drop despite there being over 60,000 people standing together. The entire show went smoothly, of course, until the very last moment when the torch was lit and poor Catriona Lemay Doan didn't get to light the cauldron because of a mechanical malfunction. But the fact that the big reveal about who would get to finish the three-month long torch relay across Canada that night to light the cauldron was that it was four instead of one person, was just great. Oh, so Canadian.
The next two weeks were filled with glimpses of the Games on random TVs,
and excitement building with each medal won for Canada. Of course the finale came on Sunday, Feb. 28 with the men's Gold medal hockey game against the U.S. If I were a nail-biter I would have been down to the cuticles by the time we got to Crosby's breath-taking goal in overtime that sent this nation into a frenzy of joy. I was sitting in a crepe shop in Yaletown in front of a big screen TV on an eerily quiet street. With each goal scored for Canada I raced outside into the street and stood beneath the skyscrapers and just listened. Cheering coming from every direction and all the apartments high above me.
With the winning goal I was hugging everyone in the store and then skipping up the streets to converge with the rest of the crowds all wearing red and carrying flags to simply rejoice. I have never received so many high fives in my life. I have never seen so many people in one spot wearing so many huge smiles. We were yelling and singing O, Canada at random moments. Granville and Robson became a mass of proud Canadians unable to contain their need to be ecstatic about owning the podium. Canadians have now broken the world record for most gold medals won in any Winter Olympics Games.
I was just happy to have a reason to wave my flag and know that this was a day I will never forget. It was like we had won the war. Pride. Elation. And relief.
Who knows where we'd be without Roberto Luongo and, of course, the next Great One, Sidney Crosby.
I have now been to the Olympic Games. What a party.
Posts related to the Olympics:
(June 9, 2009)
Olympic Letdown
Olympic Letdown
Monday, February 15, 2010
#99 - Start a Book Club
Last week I had three friends sitting on my living room floor surrounded by candles, drinking red wine and eating chocolate chip cookies while discussing Cormac McCarthy's (arguably) finest novel, The Road. Thus, the book club has begun. Another item is crossed off my life list.
Sarah, my next-door-neighbour here in Merritt, and I decided in December to start with a first meeting at her place in January. We figured two does not a book club make, however, so she, being a social butterfly, rounded up a few others, namely Jody, a local musician, Paul the Shaw Cable TV guy, and Jonathan, a guy she met on the Grayhound just after Christmas. I, of course, was also there, along with late-comer and honorary member for the evening, Cornelia, who was visiting me from out of town.
After much talk of everything except literature, and probably too much wine, we finally got down to business and each chose a title of a book we'd like to read. Sarah produced pieces of paper, pens and a baseball hat. Jonathan's choice -- The Road -- was picked as our first read. What an awesome choice that turned out to be! I could have done without the graphic cannibalism scenes, but there were so many other things to discuss...
When and where is the story set?
What was the catastrophic event?
Who or what do the boy and his father represent?
What does "carrying the fire" mean?
Is the man at the end good or bad? What IS good or bad as defined by McCormac?
These are the kinds of things we got into discussing. It was a great book to talk about because of so much being left to the imagination. At first I found it hard to take the slow-moving plot, but the writing is amazing and it really did hold me right to the end.
We ended up digressing a lot to talk about what's happening in Merritt these days (not much - big surprise), what movies are worth watching, and the hilarious nature of local Scotsman Brian Snee who was in a play with Sarah at the Legion last month.
Actually, I'm surprised we discussed the book for as long as we did. There's always a lot of other stuff going on when you get four people together in a room who haven't seen in other in a month.
I don't know what the next book will be, but I'm looking forward to meeting at Jonathan's place on March 5 to discuss it. Yay for book club!
Posts related to Book Club:
(March 18, 2010)
Book Club Blues
Sunday, January 31, 2010
One fifth of a scarf
The scarf is taking longer than I'd expected, and is about a foot long and a foot wide. I don't quite know what happened, and I had to re-start the whole thing several times. But at this point, I don't want to turn back yet again, so it's just going to be a wide scarf. And perhaps not all that long. I would have thought sixty stitches would be a decent width, but it turns out wool magically gets bigger or something. Oh well. So far, there are only two small holes. And a couple of other parts on the side that look like mice have been nibbling at it. At least the colour is really great. Kind of a mango/melon sort of sunrise hue.
Still don't know how grandmothers produce one toque per episode of Oprah. How do they knit without looking? Tried that. Didn't work. Also, I forgot how to do purl, so the whole thing has been done in plain stitch. I'll look up a YouTube video tutorial or something to figure out the other one and maybe do the middle stretch in another stitch just to mix it up a bit. Or maybe not. Better to get this done before summer so I'll be able to actually wear the thing.
Anyway, that's the update with the knitting. Still can't juggle though. And I've been practicing.
Still don't know how grandmothers produce one toque per episode of Oprah. How do they knit without looking? Tried that. Didn't work. Also, I forgot how to do purl, so the whole thing has been done in plain stitch. I'll look up a YouTube video tutorial or something to figure out the other one and maybe do the middle stretch in another stitch just to mix it up a bit. Or maybe not. Better to get this done before summer so I'll be able to actually wear the thing.
Anyway, that's the update with the knitting. Still can't juggle though. And I've been practicing.
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